Generational Gap Enthusiast Gifts

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"We added it just for the millenials."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

'They're not reliable.'

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

"Please—no technology questions!"

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "Being a high school student is literally killing me! I sit all day at school, and sit all evening doing my homework." "Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem." "Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway." "The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!"

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"

The Crummiest Generation

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

"K-pop... is that entertainment, a political movement, or a breakfast cereal?"

'That's the trouble with the older generation...they're too intolerant.'