Expense Sleuth Pillows

'Any other hidden operating expenses you haven't told me about?'

British savings accounts

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"So much for password protected."

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Have you seen my money?

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"I'm trimming the fat around here, Bailey, and I'd like to see you lose $75 per week"

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

'Lecture on inflation, was £5, now £9.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

A measured response to the budget speech.

'It's a bet - If I don't take this next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

"You know my motto: Ready, aim . . . audit."

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

Cut Your Bills In Half.