Expectation Enthusiasts Gifts

Couples compare their ambitions for their future children.

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Surprise!"

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'How fast can you hype?'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

'A kissogram for the boss? It must be a mistake.'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

"It looked better on pinterest."

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

"Woof"

Surprise Party

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."