Expectation Buster Gifts

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'Almost done.'

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

'Chief, do you swear not to speak with a forked tongue?'

"It's good luck."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

Quiz Today. I don't remember clicking of any terms of agreement that cover this!

'I'm up to my crevasse in snow.'

"Stupid bean counter!"

"See, Kevin ... I told you you'd be too scary if you go trick or treating as a dentist!"

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

'Before I throw can you tell me if my feet are behind the line?'

Overweight cop and his struggling horse.

'Have you considered short-term treasury's?'

'Son, you need to get your priorities wrong.'

"Problems are only as real as you imagine them to be."

'Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!'

The Skeptics' Association.

Earsplitting Rock Music.

'Feeding dog food to dogs is NOT ethnic stereotyping!'

"Let me guess...you're Asian, so you're really smart."

I hear you're an atheist now. It's the thing to be. What about me? What about you? I have the power to destroy you. So. I am your god! Rethinking position.

"It's not as easy as it looks."

The Misleading Wine Fridge