Existing Condition Pillows

"Sure feels like I am going somewhere!"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"So what brings you in today?"

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

The Human Condition

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

Desert crawler following water

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"I was just surprised you put the word 'marriage' next to the question asking if you suffered from a chronic condition."

"I put in a full day with the big cats, Kasmer. I need a sympathetic human cannonball I can come home to."

GPs should prescribe tailored exercise and weight loss to relieve osteoarthritis

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

Man in hospital bed has EKG with up and down sales charts next to it

Layers of Man

"Yes the view is nice, but I mostly want people to look up here and think how rich I am."

'Sorry, this is the Billionaires club. The Millionaires club is down the street.'

"It looks like another productive night of sleep and exercise. My smart watch logged seven hours of sleep and over 1,500 steps from sleep walking."

High cost of prescription drugs.

"Income inequality hasn't been given a fair shake."

Power Tanning

"You can't be too rich or too thin, and we're not."

"Please, Doc - nothing too aggressive. I'm kind of attached to my symptoms."