Existential Event Examiners Gifts

65 Million Years Ago

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

Chiller Theatre

"Needs to get a life"

Pastorius wonders why.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Optimist

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Is this who I am?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

"Be or be not. There is no question."

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

'Thank you for not guessing.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'