Exhausted Shopper Pillows

'I'm worried about her Doc! She's too pooped to shop!'

"I shop, therefore I am."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Smart card.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"We're not there yet, because your daddy still can't remember which level he parked it on!"

Cash Rebate

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Shopping Torture

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

The back-to-school shopping season claims its first victim.

After years of shuttling teenagers around, Gina started hallucinating that she was morphing into a Chrysler minivan.

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

'They didn't fit when you got them home? Maybe your contents settled during shipping?'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

"Happy Easter!"