Exhausted Mom Pillows

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Balancing work and family

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"First break since 2008."

'Save us!'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"You take care of the kids, you do the housework and you have a full-time job for which you warn less than a man who does the same? Respect... I can only fly and knock down scoundrels..."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"I'm right here. Focused!"

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"And THAT was just the weekend!"

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"I'm a working mom."

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

"Finally. The baby's asleep, the washing's done, I've finished cleaning the house..."

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

'Work, school, soccer, shopping, aside from the occassional girl's night out, today's Mom doesn't have time to sit picking ticks and fleas.'

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

"Being a working Mom is tough. All the whining and temper tantrums, and that's just my boss."

Rocking Chairs

"If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it's Jeannie."