Exfoliation Eccentric Gifts

Abrasive soap.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Newt sale

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

"We need to have a serious talk."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

Bottom House

A Macaroni in 1773

How Platypuses Are Born

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Going down?'

'First the good news: he has 3 excellent legs.'

It's from Hillary Clinton. We didn't floss regularly, so now we're going to be extinct.

"I think we can take him off the shortlist."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?"

A bunny watches TV while wearing slippers shaped like a human head.

"Honestly, Harold, no one else but you would put up a poster about a lost sock!"

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

"I thought we could try some mindfulness exercises to make you less of a goddamn weirdo."

Chicken's playing snooker with eggs,

Eccentrics, Imbeciles, College Students or Other.

"I mean, I believe that you are odd. You certainly qualify for oddness. But that may not be enough. It's a very tough world out there."

Fishing for boots.