Kitchen Eccentric Gifts

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

Newt sale

Chef copy robot

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Do you want toast with that?'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"Mmm....say, cookie! What's this garbage you're feeding us?"

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"That's funny. . . that's usually his favorite meal!"

Chef using an electric train to roll pastry.

A Macaroni in 1773

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

Cuckoo blender

'Get off me you Crepe.'

"Gourmet burgers on rustic platters - coming right up!"

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

Teapot

Ants take cheese and grater

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

'We've done all we can, but these beans... *sunglasses* ...Have expired.'

"They ran out of carrots."

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

Tea and Coffee

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

"It's great for quesadillas."

'You excelled again tonight, mother!'

Bear: 'I can't sleep, so I'm going to rustle up mid-February snack.'

'Don't put knife in your mouth.' 'My forks leaks.'

"What? No! Norma, the hairnets are not edible!"

The quietly insane chef