Kitchen Eccentric Gifts

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

Newt sale

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

Chef copy robot

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"Mmm....say, cookie! What's this garbage you're feeding us?"

Chef using an electric train to roll pastry.

A Macaroni in 1773

"That's funny. . . that's usually his favorite meal!"

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

'Get off me you Crepe.'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

"Gourmet burgers on rustic platters - coming right up!"

Cuckoo blender

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

Ants take cheese and grater

Teapot

'We've done all we can, but these beans... *sunglasses* ...Have expired.'

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

Tea and Coffee

"They ran out of carrots."

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

"It's great for quesadillas."

'Don't put knife in your mouth.' 'My forks leaks.'

Bear: 'I can't sleep, so I'm going to rustle up mid-February snack.'

'You excelled again tonight, mother!'

The quietly insane chef