Executive Search Consultant Gifts

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Parade of Businessmen

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Well, your CV certainly contains some very impressive name dropping."

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

Self portrait.

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

Big desks take time.

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

'Don't worry, I've got your back.'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

When staffing agencies screw up.

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

Will work for 6-figure salary, excellent health care plan, and generous retirement package.

'What are frills and luxuries, that you've earmarked as needs, doing on your application?'

'Well, what about the two month gap in my reume? I fell into my sofa at home.'

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

Employment Office. I see by your resume that you don't stay in one place very long.