Executive Coach Gifts

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'