
I got struck out when management got tired of my sports metaphors.
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I got struck out when management got tired of my sports metaphors.
"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."
I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.
'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'
'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'
'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'
"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."
"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"
"So what kind of mood is he in?"
Where your mind & battle are los
"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."
'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'
'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'
'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'
'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'
'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'
Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?
"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"
Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.
"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."
"This position has become very important to the company."
"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."
On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.
"Stock options for your thoughts."
Businesswoman Empowerment
"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."
"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"
"My email is down... talk to me."
At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.
"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."
"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."
'What sort of mission statement is that?'
'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.
'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'
Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.
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