Excuse Inventors Pillows

"Sharp pencils, clean paper, good light, comfortable chair, hot coffee, warm room... ready to work... perhaps the room is too warm..."

"If the Webers invite us to their vegan potluck dinner, I found an excuse we haven't used yet."

Well, would you believe the cloud ate my homework?

"No, my dog didn't eat my homework. He piddled on it. Do you still want it?"

'Honestly, Barry, I'd love to go for a drink with you sometime...'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'My dog ate my computer.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

"A homeless person ate my homework."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

Lame Lines

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

"We'd invite you to our place in the country but we're having it torched."

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'