Excuse Extraordinaire Gifts

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

"I've heard some lame excuses in my time, but checking your cell phone to see when the new 'Distracted Driving' law goes into effect takes the cake."

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

'Tell me why I should excuse you from serving on jury duty. Be careful what you say. I have been trained to read between the lies.'

'I was doing REALLY well, and then I sleepwalked last night and at a 20-pound bag of potatoes!'

...Here's one I bet you haven't heard.

'Alice Ferguson can think of more excuses for her golf score! Today it was labor pains!'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

Hunting Skool. What about your project, Oogie? The dot ate my homework.

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.