Exam Embracer Gifts

"Don't overthink it."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Man feeding origami birds with confetti

'Final exams are easier if you think of them as exit polls.'

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

"I got 4 out of 10 right on my math test...90% is pretty good, huh?"

This Is Your Life

Class teenagers taking a difficult test.

No caption. (A young man walks his dog as an old man walks a pet snail.

"Turns our arithmetic isn't the place for innovative thinking."

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

'I'm putting you on a forced exercise program of walking. Hand over your driver's license!'

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

Aging.

"Things are opening up...and just when I was beginning to really embrace my boredom. "

'Especially if it's a teacher's red pen.'

Back To School: Pens, Paper, Next Year's Exam Questions.

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

Politically Correct Senior Birthday

'I'd do better if she'd ask questions more closely matching my answers.'

Wiggly path leads to 'Alcoholics Anonymous' entrance.

"Ouch! I still can't get the hang of this new technology!"