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"Don't overthink it."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'Final exams are easier if you think of them as exit polls.'

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

"I got 4 out of 10 right on my math test...90% is pretty good, huh?"

"Turns our arithmetic isn't the place for innovative thinking."

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

Class teenagers taking a difficult test.

This Is Your Life

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

'I'm putting you on a forced exercise program of walking. Hand over your driver's license!'

Aging.

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

"Things are opening up...and just when I was beginning to really embrace my boredom. "

'Especially if it's a teacher's red pen.'

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

Politically Correct Senior Birthday

Back To School: Pens, Paper, Next Year's Exam Questions.

'I'd do better if she'd ask questions more closely matching my answers.'

Wiggly path leads to 'Alcoholics Anonymous' entrance.

It gets easier.

"Ouch! I still can't get the hang of this new technology!"