Exaggerated Illness Expert Gifts

'Has there ever been such a sickly group of rugged individualists.'

Fishing Tales

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

"Come check this out, Doris! I think our mouse trap finally caught a mouse!"

Fish Story

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Life and Death.

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

Man thinking it's safer driving a tank

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

King James II

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."