Evolution Ponderer T-Shirts

NO hunting or gathering

Get back down here, Terry, everybody's staring.

'But what is the universe for?'

'Hamlet'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

reincarnated worm...

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

The Origins of Everything

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Dreams I have had...

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

Psychologist's receptionist to man: 'I'm afraid I cancelled your appointment - the doctor has decided you don't exist.'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.