Everyday Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

Oldies.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Do Not Resuscitate

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Selling lemon latt�

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

Cariactures

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Cannonball!'