Everyday Errands Gifts

The Modern World is so Full of Anxiety

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Toothbrush Romance

'Would you like a push Dear?'

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

Romance over the Irons

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"One of you boys go help Mom with the groceries."

Kids' energy levels

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"Iron Man! Thank heaven you’ve come!"

"Please don't go!"

How to injury yourself as an adult

Man with Ironing burns on shirt - "How are things going at home Robert?"

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

"It's thrilling to watch them come out in the morning, ready for the kill!"

"We need a new clothes press."

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. George changed the toilet roll yesterday!"

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'