Event Organizers Pillows

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'This is the best I could come up with.'

Hermits Twittering

'I sent out for everything.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

I could have danced all night!

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Face painting.

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Create some buzz!

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

A day at the races

Networking

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

A man washing a mascot costume

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Face painting by numbers.

Canape?

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance