Event Organizer Extraordinaire Pillows

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

'I sent out for everything.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

I could have danced all night!

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Create some buzz!

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

A day at the races

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Networking

Canape?

Shaken not stirred

Face painting by numbers.

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

A man washing a mascot costume

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.