Eurovision Song Contest Gifts

Eurovision 2021

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

High Five

'Rhea of the Year.'

Eurovision Hymn Contest

ABBA

The battle of the pianos.

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"Well I don't think you do want to win this as much as I do."

Terry Wogan

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'Congratulations on reaching the grand final, how does it feel to be the biggest loser of all time?'

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

Lack of Euro Vision

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

"Is it yours?"

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

Loreen-Euphoria-ESC in Baku

'I would have liked it better if Engelbert Humperdinck sang one of his own songs from Hansel and Gretel!'

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'

'You are the unwisest man...goodbye.'

"We demand more money! We're not carol singers! We're future X Factor contestants!"

Ernie is producing a new TV show! Contestant musicians play their national anthem and judges pick winners in various categories. Some of the anthems we'll hear on the next show are "O Canada" from Canada, "Jana Gana Mana" from India, "Meda Dau Doka" from Fiji, "Patria Amada" from Mozambique and "God Save the Queen" from the United Kingdom! Ernie, I think your show is very good but you do create some confusion by calling it "The Country Music Awards."

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'