Eurovision Gifts

'I find you guilty of a most criminal act...' says a judge to a musician playing songs from Eurovision.

Terry Wogan

'I would have liked it better if Engelbert Humperdinck sang one of his own songs from Hansel and Gretel!'

"Didn't make it home from the Eurovision party again this year, then...?"

"At least some good has come out of all this."

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Louis Armstrong

A Symphony of Penguins

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

I could have danced all night!

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Can You Spot the Differences?

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Mardi Gras

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Robert Fripp

Baby Piano

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Guitarist

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Cimafunk

Lennon and McCartney.

Tut and Carmen.

Marimba

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."