Ethical Trade Advocate Gifts

'No! This is the office of FAIR trading!'

"This is our top of the line coffee machine, from exploited child labourer direct to your cup."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Slavery Reparations

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

Barack Obama, Angela Merkel and David Cameron are ecstatic about the possibility of a free trade agreement between the U.S. and the European Union.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Anonymous Donations

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

"It's not easy being green…"

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

Free-range C.E.O.s

Arms Industry increases sales by 8.5%

"Actually, sir, I’ve found that the shortest distance between two points is money."

"Your Board has decided to downsize its commitment to honesty and integrity by around 35% of the fiscal year."

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

"We'll discuss the ethics of the matter if you're sure you want to open that can of worms."

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."