Ethical Humor Lover Gifts

'Of course they haven't been tested on animals!'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Albert Einstein

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

Some scents are nonsense.

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

String Theory for Beginners.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

Night of the living will

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'Todd here syas our plank is to narrow and may lead to lawsuits.'

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

"Does my brain look big in this?"