Ethical Humor Lover Gifts

'Of course they haven't been tested on animals!'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

Some scents are nonsense.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

String Theory for Beginners.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

Night of the living will

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

"Does my brain look big in this?"

'Todd here syas our plank is to narrow and may lead to lawsuits.'

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

"The defendant is a danger to society and poses a flight risk."