Ethereal Competitors Gifts

"Yes, I must admit I've done rather well here."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

An amplified harp

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

'Anything good on tonight?'

"I hate his 'holier than thou' attitude."

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

Angels' Band: Balloons holding up a guitar.

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

'I miss the evildoers.'

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'Location, location, location.'

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

Man turns into an angel.

"It was bad enough learning to master the use of wings here but roller-blades must have been a nightmare!"

I just figured moths would have their own heaven.

Census Infinity.

"That's it . . . looking good . . . and . . . after this . . . we're . . . going to . . . be working . . . on those . . . wing muscles."

"Welcome to heaven! Will that be cash or credit?"

'Although you still can't take it with you, they let you follow your old investments online.'

"Well, well, well... We meet again at last!"

Spiritualist. Out of business. I lost the ability to contact the departed. It's like clothes. Some people are a "medium" when young, but not when we get older.

"It's time to pull the plug."

'I see you've laid up for yourselves treasures in heaven. Is this some sort of tax dodge?'

Heaven II

'Heulluva Mark.'

'I understand he's here on a business trip.'

"Not funny."

Angel playing disk golf with his halo

'I managed to take it with me but it seems to be useless here."