Ethanol Expert Gifts

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"My great uncle produced a lot of ethanol but he couldn't sell it legally."

In the Guru District

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Are we broke yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

Ethanol and foreign oil.

Natural gas

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

The Heating Oil Problem.

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

Home Heating Oil

Gas prices up.

A Good Year.

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

"What would you serve with toast?"

Alcohol Ingredients

'Do you have poop points?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"One can only hope this is the raw stuff of art."

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

"Forget the pension and health care - do I get gas money?"

Overworked doctors in need of sleep

Men looking at oil rig - "Are they supposed to take off like that?"

"It can also run on recycled cooking oil, but you have to be careful, as it has a severe peanut allergy."

Recycling chip fat.