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'It would be nice if she left me her money, but mostly I want her overstuffed chair.'

"Oh look. Thornton - is that one of those wing-and-a-prayer chairs?"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

A child runs an equity stand.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'The roof needs icing.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

wealth investment

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"