Espresso Enthusiasts Gifts

Coffee sizes

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

'He's on his sixth cup of coffee.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Eternal Student.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Joined at the hipster.

Balancing two espresso martinis

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

You've Had Enough!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Non-Power Breakfast

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Countervailing Clichés.

Espresso Martini Peacock

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Writers without borders.

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."