Epicurean Entertainer T-Shirts

No Flash Photography of Meals

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Holiday Supplies

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It was a really romantic dinner. I cried when he gave me roses. We had lobster and wine. He cried when we got the bill."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"Call this cordon bleu?"

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

Michel Roux Jr

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

"I see you've finished your meal, sir. Can I get you anything else?... Coffee? Brandy? A doctor?"

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'If I have but one life to live, Pierre, it's going to be a gastric life.'

'On your way back from the Holy Land, can you stop at Paris and pick up some creme brulee?'

'The bill is part of the chef's surprise, sir.'

Romance novel writers make the best waiters. 'Tonight's special is chicken: ample,milky white breasts, touched with a slight hesitation of strong,rigid basil, too headstrong to stay and too scared to stop.'

"Do you have a strain that pairs well with Chunky Monkey?"

"Bob, no! You don't drown in white wine with steak!"

Nick's Greek Restaurant: Special - Nick's own translation of the Odyssey

Survival of the Foodiest

'Good thing the recipe doesn't call for two tablespoons of port, we'd need a second cart.'

"What's good here?"

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

"Wow - good job!"

"I was afraid of GMO foods until I learned they're the designer versions."

"We are starting our diet tomorrow, so we need to eat this lot today."