Envy Explorer Gifts

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'It was great. I hated it.'

"They've just got a better grade of grass over there!"

'I have this--wow! I must have THIS couch--deep seated envy complex...'

"Your grass looks great."

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Ascent of Machine.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Ghost School.

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"We evolved from asteroids"

Exit only.

ZOO

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

Evolution.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

The Origin of Creationism

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

"Conversation - what a concept!"

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.