Environmentally Conscious Soldier Gifts

'What we need now is a weapon that takes out nuke facilities and weapons of mass destruction, but that doesn't pollute the environment.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"People! When you poison the last river, cut down the last tree - then you will understand that you cannot eat money."

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

Recycling bottle bank.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"It's the new way of turning lemons into lemonade."

"I dunno...ask him."

The West Stealing the Resources of the East.

Keystone XL

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

"You have sewage between your teeth."

EXXON EXTINCTION

'I told you that roof turbine salesman was too pushy.'

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

"His commute to work's been getting shorter."

"Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator."

"It's not easy being green…"

The Seahoover

There's no real oil emergency...

'What did you do in the great whale war, grandad....'

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Earth Reset Button.