Environmentally Conscious Soldier Gifts

'What we need now is a weapon that takes out nuke facilities and weapons of mass destruction, but that doesn't pollute the environment.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"People! When you poison the last river, cut down the last tree - then you will understand that you cannot eat money."

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

Recycling bottle bank.

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

The West Stealing the Resources of the East.

"It's the new way of turning lemons into lemonade."

"I dunno...ask him."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

Keystone XL

EXXON EXTINCTION

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

"You have sewage between your teeth."

There's no real oil emergency...

"His commute to work's been getting shorter."

"It's not easy being green…"

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

"Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator."

'I told you that roof turbine salesman was too pushy.'

The Seahoover

'What did you do in the great whale war, grandad....'

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'