Environmental Funster Pillows

"It's from the E.P.A., they say we have to have a non-smoking section."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'Superstock'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

Moo! OOM!

Police Cow!

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

Oh yeah! It does echo when you moo very loudly!

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

I want to be a lawn!

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

Holy Cow

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"You spoil that boy."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."