Environmental Funster Pillows

"It's from the E.P.A., they say we have to have a non-smoking section."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'Superstock'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

Moo! OOM!

Police Cow!

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

Oh yeah! It does echo when you moo very loudly!

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

I want to be a lawn!

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

"You spoil that boy."

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

Holy Cow

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'