Entrepreneurial Friend Gifts

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Boss's Desk Says No!

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Superheroes Having a Drink

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

Decision Making Block

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

Subordinate Employee

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'

'Do you spell 'riddance' with one 'd' or two?'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"Oh, no! My bucket list!"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

Line Manager

'Good news I'm ten percent under budget.'

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

Rudolf Carnap

'Start with the computer. I'll let you know when you're ready to crash cars.'

"Let's review again. Mondays are pink memos. Tuesdays are red memos. Today I only read blue memos."