Entourage Manager Gifts

'My entourage can lick your entourage!'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

In, out, shake it all about.

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

Knickerless Cage.

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

Broadway Moosical.

I Pagliacci

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'Get me public relations!'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"He's got a great future behind him!"