Entourage Expert Gifts

Marriage Counselors For Celebrities.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

Second aid

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Love for the family

'..and one for the pot.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Come dine with me!

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

Trustworthy Authority.

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

It was time for Junior to learn to fly. Now, he just needed a little motivation.

Let the profit-making begin!

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

"Listen, I'm speaking to you not just as your agent, but also as a parasite."

'Oh, no! They've got a Swiss-army defence lawyer!'

'It may be a waiter's friend, but it certainly isn't yours.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... the chameleons never seem to be out.'

'For the remainder of this health and safety discussion, I shall refrain from leaning back too far on my chair.'

'Since winning Best of Breed at the dog show he won't go anywhere without his entourage!'

"Nice of you to bring wine, but we don't drink anything that sells for under a dollar a gallon."

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

"Are you sure you're fully qualified"

Expert and Ex-Pert

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair bill

'What a day! Give me a Scotch and bromo!'

'Please stand by -- we have temporarily lost our edge.'

Military Inteligense.

At bat is number eight, Sidonski, who leads the league in home runs, RBI's, and product endorsement fees.

'I don't sit here all the time, Mom. Just June through August.'

"Yeah, it must be like 360 degrees in here."