Enthusiast Of Parenting Topics Pillows

'We're studying child birth in sex education. On my birthday I think YOU should get the gifts.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'The child is very illogical'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

Suffering from Cooties?

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

I love my family!

Growth Charts

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

Toddler Feeding Solutions

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

Open other end

Early childhood development

Crying baby

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

Lemming mothers

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"My first Father's day!"

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."