Enthusiast Of Humorous Dilemmas Pillows

A Salesperson's Dilemma

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

'I'm having a moral dilemma. Should I be treacherous or just devious?'

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

'How come when you're right it's female intuition and when I'm right it's dumb luck?'

Estate Agents - Now in!! Affordable houses (flooded).

'Of course I forgot your birthday and our wedding anniversary! Hey, this is hell!'

The angel and the devil.

"We forgot to get spark plugs -- I'll drive."

"The Choice is yours, Norman - either we divorce or I have you recycled."

The Cliff Whites of Dover

'I'm concerned about your felony conviction. This company prides itself on having the kind of employees who don't get caught.'

Happy Valentine's Day! My friend is looking for a valentine's day date. She asked me to build her ideal man. She wants him to be tall and smart so I made him with long legs and a big brain. He has great ears so he's a good listener, and an extra funny bone so he has a wonderful sense of humor. Most important, I was very careful when working on his chest. Her ideal man must have his heart in the right place. Will you be my valentine?

An injury to hide from the ladies.

"Under the Freedom of Information Act, I'm requesting that you disclose what you have on me in your files."

"Insurance covered the broken ankle, but the deductible was painful."

"Do you keep stationery here?"

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch

Eyeballs on chair - 'I'm afraid your blindness does not entitle you to Incapacity Benefit.'

'Banks' man pulling petals out of a flower marked 'Sell out' 'Don't sell out'.

Medicine Sans Frontiers

'Is it all right for a vegetarian to wear a poodle skirt?'

"I need a wind to go with dinner tonight. What pairs well with dirt?"

So much for the wild blue yonder

'Second place goes to Dr. Howard Meyers, heretofore known as 'Not the Brightest Guy in the World.''

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fee by being more ethical?" legal fees by being more ethical?"

"I'm not sure elephants do never forget. We keep voting for the same corrupt and incompetent politicians."

A Man Whose Trousers Do Not Fit.

"Your father used to brag about his belly button being an outie, too. Remember, boasting leads to roasting."

Over Eater's Anonymous.