Enthusiast Of Philosophical Humor Pillows

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Zenemies.

Optimist

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Layton and Ignatieff: the merger.

Human meat.

Seneca

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"Does my brain look big in this?"

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

Department de Philosophie

'I think you'd enjoy it even more if you understood Newton's Laws of Motion.'

"I take it you agree that there can be no meaningful thought without the existence of language."

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"

"Go home, you're not part of my target market."

Swiss Referendum

'Sure I'm interested in symbolism. Money is a symbol, isn't it?'

Jean-Paul Sartre.

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

'How come when you're right it's female intuition and when I'm right it's dumb luck?'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

'I think his I.Q. is lower than his shoe size!'

'My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis.'