Enthusiast In Awards Shows Pillows

"And the award goes to...but then again, why bother?"

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Soccer coach of the year.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Barbie Oscars

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Oscars acceptance speech.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Norman E-Mailer

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

"I want to thank all the little people."

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.