Entertainment Systems Pillows

Four thousand dollars later and there's STILL nothing to watch!

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

TV loves Music.

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"I don't know which soundbar the neighbor is using, but I wish they would turn it down a bit."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

The Rooster Comedian.

Television Readers.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Champagne

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Cow Show Tunes

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'