Entertainment System Enthusiast Pillows

'We sold it to buy a video.'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'3-D TV Kit'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Starvation Watching

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

"Lets watch a martial arts movie."

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'I know it's a nuisance, but they came as part of the home cinema package.'

NBS Programming Department. Who have we got to interview Michael Jackson? We've got it narrowed down to Stephen King or Leonard Nimoy.

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

More Arts Council cuts...

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."