Enjoying Humor Gifts

'I cut my finger opening a package of bandaids.'

'Can you keep a secret about yourself.'

'Crowd control has never been easier since this Moses guy joined up.'

Policeman

Common golf problems - 'Greens are really slow today.'

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

Perky Blinders

'Typical, the World's covered in water and Noah runs aground.'

'I'm afraid you have dry rot.'

'Well, normally a cup of hot tea in the morning is a good thing, but...'

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

A storm in a teacup.

'It's been taken care of.'

'Do you get brain freeze when you eat a snow cone too fast?'

'Should we let him in? He said he was Puff-Daddy, now P-Diddy.'

'Next!'

Jack, with a sweet tooth! 'Look, Ma! I traded the cow for these little candies! And guess what, they don't melt in your hand!'

On Its Way To Mohammed. . . The Mountain Drops In On Tom.

Billy. The Kid.

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

Aggression/Security

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

Hitchcock's The Birds

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

Scientist discover a new superbug