English Literature Enthusiast Gifts

James Joyce

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Now I really hate poetry."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Voltaire

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Well, we needed the rain."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Don Quixote

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Dating an English Major

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Oh, this old thing?"

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"