English Lit Gifts

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the author"

Thomas Mann.

Tut and Carmen.

The Bookworm

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Do me next."

First Novels.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."