Engagement Skeptic Gifts

"Thanks for granting me permission to marry your daughter, Mr. Anderson. I'll let you know when I make my decision."

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

The prying mantis,

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

That should get you motivated.

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

'This is about the poster isn't it?'

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'