Engaged In Missionary Work Gifts

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

CCTV in church.

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Nun Binning the Devil

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Please Give

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

"It's a cup holder."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Crossing USA Mexico Border

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

Human Rights

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

"Victory!"

Kids in conflic zones and schools...

'We're a voluntary organisation John, they're not meant to pay for it.'

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'