Energy Seekers Gifts

'I figure we'll have to take two vitamins for every one of theirs to keep up with them.'

I give you: Octo-Cola. What? The drink for people in their 80s who want an energy boost to play Scrabble on Facebook. Do I know you? I know you. And I want to thank you for sharing all your personal info on Facebook. It's a great way to get you the products and services you care about. As an aside, I'm sorry about your stinky foot condition. Fisticuffs to ensue.

'If we could just figure out some high-energy diet, we wouldn't have to spend the hole day eating.'

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."

Low-Energy Drinks

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

The Not-So Smart Meter

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

Nuclear generation of energy.

'Be patient. This summer they'll be 60 feet tall'

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

Fred deciding which sort of power to use to cut wood for his wood burning air conditioner.

'Bring me some more power.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

US Energy Needs.

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

"Here's the problem."

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

Is this what they call inherent safety?

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

"That's not profit that's the cost of having to turn them off."

Critical Ethanol report

Glass Ceiling